In Bruges: It’s like a Fucking Fairytale

Christmas is around the corner, but you’re not feeling festive yet? Then In Bruges is the perfect anti holiday movie for you: this hilarious dark comedy follows a hit man who is sent to a picturesque Belgian town after a devastating incident on a job leaves him guilt-ridden. Unfortunately, he turns out to be the worst tourist in the world.

In Bruges (2008): Directed Martin McDonagh; running-time 1h 43mins; starring Colin Farrell (The Recruit), Brendan Gleeson, Clémense Poésy (Gossip Girl), Ralph “You know who” Fiennes.

What’s it about? After a hit gone wrong, assassins Ken (Brendan Gleeson) and Ray (Farrell) are sent to Bruges to lay low. But no amount of medieval churches, picturesque boat rides, or cobble stone streets can distract guilt-ridden Ray from his mistakes. 

What’s it really about? Learning to forgive yourself

Pick if:

  • You’re in the mood for an unlikely holiday movie
  • You like dark comedies
  • You hate going on trips to soak up some culture
  • You don’t mind people yelling obscenities at each other
  • You like accents
  • You’re okay with explicit violence, sex and drugs

Most memorable scene: *********SPOILER*********

Ken goes looking for Ray so he can carry out their boss’ orders and kill him. He eventually finds him on a bench in a playground, about to put a gun to his head and end his own suffering, but gets to him just in time to stop him from killing himself. He sits down next to him and holds him as he breaks down crying.

Top 3 most memorable quotes: 

  1. Ray: “After I killed them, I dropped the gun in the Thames, washed the residue off me hands in the bathroom of a Burger King, and walked home to await instructions. Shortly thereafter the instructions came through. ‘Get the fuck out of London, youse dumb fucks. Get to Bruges.’ I didn’t even know where Bruges fucking was. It’s in Belgium.
  2. Ray: “Ken, I grew up in Dublin. I love Dublin. If I grew up on a farm, and was retarded, Bruges might impress me but I didn’t, so it doesn’t.”
  3. Harry: “It’s a fairytale town, isn’t it? How’s a fairytale town not somebody’s fucking thing? How can all those canals and bridges and cobbled streets and those churches, all that beautiful fucking fairytale stuff, how can that not be somebody’s fucking thing, eh?”

Where can I watch? Netflix (Germany, Austria, US, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Brazil, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Denmark), Maxdome, Amazon Instant, Videoload, iTunes.

Where do I know her from? Clémense Poésy, born October 30, 1982 in France (oh my God, how is she over 30???)

Clémense Poésy
Clémense as Colin Farrell’s love interest in In Bruges
  • The Harry Potter films: Clémense portrayed Fleur Delacour, a snobby french witch who goes on to marry one of the Weasley brothers
  • 127 Hours
  • Gossip Girl: Remember that poor innocent girl who saved Chuck Bass when he got shot in an alley in Prague and nursed him back to health, only to be publicly humiliated by his psycho bitch ex-girlfriend (yes, I mean Blair) when she exposed her as a former prostitute in front of a bunch of people at one of those dreadful Upper East Side events
  • Lullaby for Pi
  • The ones below: A couple expecting their first child discover an an unnerving difference between themselves and the couple living in the flat below them who are also having a baby.
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