Immortals: It’s raining Half Naked Greek Gods

Personally, I’ve alsways been fascinated by the Olympians and their mischief, hedonism and promiscuity. But you don’t have to have read The Iliad or seen every episode of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys to enjoy Tarsem Singh’s aesthetic masterpiece Immortals…

Immortals (2011): Directed by Tarsem Singh (The Fall); running-time 1h 50mins.; starring Henry Cavill (Man of Steel), Freida Pinto (Slumdog Millionaire), Luke Evans (The Hobbit), Daniel Sharman (Teen Wolf), Kellan Lutz (Twilight), Joseph Morgan (The Originals), Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler), John Hurt (Alien), Alan Van Sprang (Reign), Isabel Lucas.

What’s it about? A guy with the voice of a chain-smoker  and a terrible fashion sense (Rourke) wants to take on the Gods by unleashing the Titans. But first he slaughters a super inconveniently located village which infuriates a young man (Cavill) who is so poor he can’t afford a shirt. Thirsting for revenge, Theseus teams up with a virgin oracle (Pinto) and a bunch of other misfits and with a little help from Zeus’ rebellious teenage kids (Lucas, Sharman, Lutz) he marches into battle against the chain-smoker.

What’s it really about? Who cares when the aesthetics are this pleasing?

Pick if:

  • You’re looking for an action-packed, super-violent film to watch on a date: Immortals follows in the footsteps of films like 300 and Clash of the Titans in its explicit depiction of battle
  • You’re partial to aesthetically pleasing films such as Singh’s masterpiece The Fall: Immortals, too, boasts gorgeous cinematography and costumes

  • You’re up for seeing handsome young men with shirtless torsos and the body of a greek God stand up for what is right: Immortals stars Man of Steel Henry Cavill, Teen Wolf Daniel Sharman, the Original Joseph Morgan, Twilight‘s Kellan Lutz and Luke Evans from The Girl on the Train
  • You’re interested in Greek Mythology: the interaction between Zeus and his children Ares (Sharman), Athena (Lucas) and Poseidon (Lutz) makes for a great dynamic

Most memorable scene: Overcome with grief, Zeus comes to collect Athena’s body and goes beserker on Hyperion’s army.

Most memorable quote: “Stand your ground! Fight for honor! Fight for the man beside you! Fight for those who bore you! Fight for your children! Fight for your future! Fight for your name to survive! Fight! For immortality!” – Theseus

Where can I watch? Immortals is available for streaming on Netflix Denmark, Sweden, Finland, Norway, Italy, Poland and India as well as Maxdome, Amazon and iTunes.

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